"If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,"
Context:The Book of Deuteronomy is the fifth book of the Old Testament and is attributed to Moses. It contains a series of speeches Moses delivered to the Israelites before they entered the Promised Land. These speeches served as a reminder of God’s laws and instructions, emphasising the importance of obedience and faithfulness to God.
Understanding the verse:Deuteronomy 22:13 addresses the scenario where a man marries a woman and later develops feelings of hatred toward her. It highlights the importance of treating one’s spouse with love and respect.
Cultural and historical context:In the cultural and historical context of ancient Israel, marriage was considered a significant commitment, and the relationship between a husband and wife held great importance. God’s intention was for marriage to be a covenant of love and unity between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24). Therefore, the verse emphasises the seriousness of mistreating one’s spouse.
Lessons and principles:
- a) Commitment and love in marriage:The verse encourages husbands to demonstrate love, honour, and commitment toward their wives. It teaches us that marriage is not simply a legal contract but a sacred bond that should be nurtured with love, care, and respect.
- b) The danger of hatred:The verse implies that developing hatred towards one’s spouse is contrary to God’s design for marriage. Hatred can destroy the unity and harmony in a relationship. Instead, spouses are called to cultivate love, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
- c) Addressing marital issues:While the verse acknowledges the reality of conflicts and issues within a marriage, it does not endorse or promote divorce as a solution. Instead, it encourages spouses to seek resolution, healing, and restoration in their relationship.
Application:
- Love and respect:The verse challenges both husbands and wives to love, respect, and honour each other within the marriage relationship. By treating our spouses with kindness and compassion, we can create an environment of love and unity.
- Conflict resolution:When disagreements or conflicts arise in marriage, it is essential to address them with patience, understanding, and a desire for reconciliation. Seeking counsel from trusted mentors, pastors, or marriage counsellors can be beneficial in resolving conflicts.
- Building a strong foundation:Investing time and effort in building a strong foundation for marriage is crucial. This can include open communication, shared values, quality time together, and a commitment to personal growth and spiritual development.
- God’s grace and forgiveness:If there have been past mistakes or hurts within a marriage, it is vital to seek God’s grace and forgiveness. Through His power, marriages can be restored, and relationships can be transformed.
Remember that the Bible contains numerous teachings on marriage, and it is beneficial to explore other passages to gain a holistic understanding of God’s design for marital relationships.

