Proverbs 20:19

He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.

Proverbs 20:19 (KJV)

Context

The book of Proverbs is a collection of wisdom literature in the Old Testament, offering practical guidance for godly living. This verse addresses the dangers of gossip and flattery, warning against both spreading secrets and trusting those who use smooth words to deceive.

Meaning

The first half of the verse describes a talebearer—someone who habitually spreads rumors or reveals confidential information. The phrase “goeth about” suggests an active, deliberate pattern of moving from place to place, seeking and sharing stories about others. Such behavior breaks trust, harms reputations, and creates discord. The verse does not forbid sharing information when necessary, such as when seeking godly advice, but it condemns the careless or malicious revelation of secrets.

The second half commands, “meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” This warns against close association or entanglement with a person who uses flattering speech. Flattery is insincere praise aimed at gaining personal advantage. The connection between the two halves is practical: the one who flatters with his lips is likely also the one who reveals secrets. A person who uses deceptive speech cannot be trusted with confidential matters.

Biblical connections

This theme recurs throughout Proverbs, which frequently contrasts the wise use of speech with the harm caused by gossip and deceit. The warning is not merely about avoiding gossip oneself, but also about guarding against those who habitually engage in it. The verse counsels discernment in relationships: do not entrust secrets to a gossip, and do not be drawn in by smooth words.

Application

Christians are called to value confidentiality, respect privacy, and maintain trustworthy relationships. Guarding secrets reflects integrity and love for others. At the same time, believers should be discerning when someone excessively praises them or seeks to manipulate through insincere words. Instead of engaging in gossip or flattery, we should strive for honesty, kindness, and encouragement in our speech, speaking the truth in love and building others up.

Proverbs 20:19 also reminds us to seek God’s wisdom in discerning the character and motives of others. By relying on God’s guidance and following His principles, we can make wise choices in our associations and avoid unnecessary harm. The verse highlights the importance of guarding confidential information, discerning motives, and cultivating truthful speech in our relationships.

Reflection

Consider your own patterns of speech and the company you keep. Are you faithful in keeping confidences? Do you recognize flattery as a warning sign of untrustworthiness? By valuing honesty, integrity, and discretion, we can foster healthy, trustworthy connections with others and honor God in our words.