Ephesians 6:4

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4 (KJV)

Context

Ephesians 6:4 continues the family instruction that begins with children in Ephesians 6:1-3, but it turns directly to fathers. The verse is part of Paul’s household code, which sets out mutual responsibilities within Christian families. It gives fathers both a negative and a positive command, placing them in a position of significant responsibility.

Meaning

The verse begins with a direct address to fathers, highlighting their role in the family. While the command is given to fathers, the principles also apply to parents in general. The first command is negative: “provoke not your children to wrath.” This warns against stirring up anger, resentment, or bitterness in children. Such provocation can happen through words, such as unjust or unreasonable commands, contemptuous or reproachful language, frequent public scolding, or passionate outbursts. It can also happen through deeds, such as favoring one child over another, denying necessities, withholding proper recreation, or using severe punishment.

The second command is positive: “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The Greek word for “nurture” is paideia, which means training, discipline, and holistic care. This involves providing physical care, emotional support, and guidance, creating an atmosphere where children feel secure and valued. The Greek word for “admonition” is nouthesia, meaning instruction, correction, and counsel. Fathers are to teach children about God’s ways, His commandments, and His principles, imparting biblical knowledge and wisdom to guide them in living a life that pleases Him. This includes setting a good example, guarding children from bad company, praying with and for them, and bringing them into the house of God for public worship.

Biblical connections

The pattern of faithful instruction appears in the Old Testament. Abraham was commended because he would command his children and household to keep the way of the Lord (Genesis 18:19). Similarly, Proverbs 22:6 advises training a child in the way he should go. These passages reinforce the responsibility of parents to provide godly nurture and admonition, a duty that Ephesians 6:4 makes explicit for fathers.

Application

Ephesians 6:4 reminds parents of their critical role in the spiritual development of their children. It calls for intentional parenting, characterized by love, discipline, and spiritual instruction. Parents are to model godly behavior, teach biblical truths, and create an environment conducive to spiritual growth.

• Balancing discipline and love: While the verse focuses on nurture and admonition, it does not negate the need for discipline. Discipline, when administered with love and wisdom, plays a vital role in shaping a child’s character and teaching them right from wrong.

• The significance of the family unit: Ephesians 6:4 underscores the importance of the family in nurturing the next generation. It highlights the responsibility of parents to cultivate an environment that fosters spiritual growth, emotional well-being, and healthy relationships.

• The ultimate goal: Ultimately, the goal of parenting, as emphasized in Ephesians 6:4, is to raise children who love and serve the Lord, equipped to navigate life’s challenges with godly wisdom and integrity.

Reflection

Fathers, and parents generally, are called to examine their words and actions, ensuring they do not provoke their children to anger. Instead, they are to embrace the lifelong task of bringing up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, trusting that God will bless their faithful efforts.